Saturday, March 11, 2006

Well, I've gone all week averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. To say that I'm very tired, and very cranky, would be putting it mildly. I'm at that "if you so much as look at me I'm going to chop off your head" stage.

I need to sleep. I guess I'll have to go the sleeping pill route, as I can't continue like this. It's not healthy. Physically or mentally. I'm still working out every day, but I'm not sleeping. And today, while driving to and from the grocery store, and actually, grocery shopping, I felt as though I was dreaming. And I really shouldn't be driving, or near sharp objects. The temptation of hurting someone is greatly increased while in sleep depravation mode. And no, I won't. I'm just sayin' the temptaion is greater to hurl a sharp pointed object at the first person to bug me.

And I've taken away comments. I greatly appreciate the wonderful comments I've been getting, and I thank each and every one of you for that (Arm, princess ladybug, valerene, mary)
but I can't have an honest "diary" if I'm afraid of what others are going to say, or more concerned with the comments than what I'm divulging. I need this blog as a cartharsis, not a running commentary on how insane I am. :):)

Anyway, happy weekend everyone. Catch ya next week.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

For the past 2 nights, I've not fallen asleep until after 4am, only to get up at 6am with the alarm. I've had this problem for over 20 years, and thought I had it licked when I got my new mattress, but it appears the newness has worn off. Not even working out is doing the trick anymore.

I hate insomnia. It sucks. Big rotten eggz.

So, I'm switching back to working out at night. This way, if I don't sleep the night before, I can go back to bed for a couple of hours after I get dad up and fed and settled for his day. I've tried working out on days where I've not slept the night before. I don't get a good work out that way. I'm too tired, almost falling asleep when I drive to the gym, and I don't go through the entire circuit. Not good!

I hate insomnia.